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Divorce Defined

Marital bliss squeezed through the hands of a lawyer

Divorce Defined thanks to Mike King

Divorce: from an old Latin word meaning to extract a man's genitals through his wallet

QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

Where there's a will there's a lawsuit. - Addison Mizner

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry. - Philip Simborg

Writing laws is easy, but governing is difficult. - Leo Tolstoy

Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

A jury is composed of twelve men of average ignorance. - Herbert Spencer

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Law of Inflation: Whatever goes up will go up some more. - Kin Hubbard

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. - Mark Twain

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

In Islam, the legislative power and competence to establish laws belong exclusively to God. - Ayatollah Khomeini

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France


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