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Divorce Defined

Marital bliss squeezed through the hands of a lawyer

Divorce Defined thanks to Mike King

Divorce: from an old Latin word meaning to extract a man's genitals through his wallet

QuotaBills
Lawyers are merchants of misery. - Nancy Levit

Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Lawyers are the jackals of commerce. - Elbert Hubbard

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper. - Taylor J Reid

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy

Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Law of Inflation: Whatever goes up will go up some more. - Kin Hubbard

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? - Marion Barry

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

Self-preservation is the first law of nature, but self-sacrifice is the highest rule of grace. - Unknown

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide. - Will Rogers

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

It might be pardonable to refuse to defend some men, but to defend them negligently is nothing short of criminal. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. - Albert Einstein

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

There is a direct relationship between a person's grasp and experience of God's grace and his or her heart for justice. - Unknown

The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood. - Martin Luther King Jr.

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom. - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda


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