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Divorce Defined

Marital bliss squeezed through the hands of a lawyer

Divorce Defined thanks to Mike King

Divorce: from an old Latin word meaning to extract a man's genitals through his wallet

QuotaBills
Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

Useless laws weaken necessary laws. - Charles de Secondat

Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you not know that I am above the law? - James II

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato

Writing laws is easy, but governing is difficult. - Leo Tolstoy

Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers and painters can soon change white to black. - Henry G Bohn

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial. - Thomas Fuller

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony. - John Barrymore

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. - Dalai Lama

It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid. - Albert Einstein

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. - Otto von Bismarck

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

People who use lawyers are not people you would really want to hang around with. - Deborah Ross

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: time. - Napoleon Bonaparte

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

Lawyers are like professional wrestlers. They pretend to get mad and fight, but then they socialize after a trial is over. - Robert Whitlow

The question arises: whether all lawyers are the same. This is like asking whether everything that gets into a sewer is garbage. - Florynce R Kennedy

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

The denial of an objective moral law based on the compulsion to deny the existence of God results ultimately in the denial of evil itself. - Ravi Zacharias

A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch

Never utter these words: 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge. - Apothegm of Narda

There must be some honest lawyers at the New York bar, and some impartial judges on the New York bench, but I should not like to be set to find them. - Lyman Abbott

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda


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