Daddy, Can I Drive?

I go through life like a Karate Kid. - Britney Spears

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. - Steven Wright

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Drive slow and enjoy the scenery. Drive fast and join the scenery. - Douglas Horton

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives. - Mark Batterson

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: I'm with you kid, let's go. - Maya Angelou

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

Because there is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first or last time, I owe him my best. - Joe DiMaggio

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Apparently, as a kid, I used to eat spiders. Maybe there's some Freudian significance behind that. - Matt Smith

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

I was a huge bookworm as a kid, and you could usually find me reading something with a dragon on its cover. - Julie Kagawa

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift