Computer Bread

Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

Mine is the least fat diet in the world. - Pierre Dukan

To a good appetite there is no bad bread. - Spain Proverb

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

The first couple of days on the detox diet aren't pleasant. - Carol Vorderman

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. - Steven Wright

On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key. - Unknown

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. - Mother Teresa

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. - Mahatma Gandhi

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle

When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other. - Chinese Proverb

If I go on a diet and work out, I'm always in a bad mood. I'd rather be a little heavier but nice. - Salma Hayek

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. - Andrew Brown

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. - Erma Bombeck

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. - Viktor Frankl

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso