Coffin Dragster

How can I die? I'm booked. - George Burns

One has only to die to be praised. - German Proverb

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

He that lives on hope will die fasting. - Benjamin Franklin

Biography is one of the new terrors of death. - John Arbuthnot

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. - Mark Twain

I can't afford to die - I'd lose too much money. - George Burns

With the newspaper strike on, I wouldn't consider dying. - Bette Davis

There are causes worth dying for, but none worth killing for. - Albert Camus

His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad. - Red Skelton

Praise follows truth afar off, and only overtakes her at the grave. - James R Lowell

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready." - Robin Williams

Men, remember there is no retreat from here. You must die where you stand. - Colin Campbell

You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Many people's tombstones should read: 'Died at 30. Buried at 60.' - Nicholas M Butler

We have to live our lives as if we are dying of a fatal disease. Because we are. - Phineas Narco

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin

The general outlook is not that the person has died but that the person has lived. - William Buchanan

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. - Isaac Asimov

Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once. - William Shakespeare

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow. - Mahatma Gandhi

It's better to die for an idea that will live than live for an idea that will die. - Steve Biko

There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction. - Salvador Dali

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

Funeral: A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. - Ambrose Bierce

For us humans, everything is permanent - until it changes, as we are immortal until we die. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I'm not afraid of death. It's the stake one puts up in order to lay the game of life. - Jean Giraudoux

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. - Will Rogers

When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. - J.P. Donleavy

I went to the bank and reviewed my savings. I found out I have all the money I'll ever need if I die tomorrow. - Henny Youngman

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

I saw that show, '50 Things To Do Before You Die.' I would have thought the obvious one was, 'Shout for help'. - Jim Carrey

If you think that praise is due, now's the time to show it, 'cause a man can't read his tombstone when he's dead. - Unknown

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey

We do not attach any intrinsic value to the Cross; this would be sinful and idolatrous. Our veneration is referred to Him who died upon it. - James Gibbons

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde