#1 humor site on the 'net

Child Disarma-meant

Sometimes it takes a child to diffuse a thorny situation

Child Disarma-meant thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Disarming Candy for peaceful riot control

QuotaBills
The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never have children, only grandchildren. - Gore Vidal

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

Plant the seed of meditation and reap the fruit of peace of mind. - Unknown

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding. - Albert Einstein

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. - Doug Larson

I just want you to know that when we talk about war we're really talking about peace. - George W Bush

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The greatest comforts and lasting peace are obtained when one eradicates selfishness from within. - Gobind Singh

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

Lord, if it's not your will, let it slip through my grasp. And give me the peace not to worry about it. - Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

The best thing I've ever done? Well, I've created four beautiful children. You mean, other than that? - Donald Trump

When you reach the stars, boy, yes, and live there forever, all the fears will go, and Death himself will die. - Ray Bradbury

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then better be able to find out the natural bent of the child. - Plato

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy. - George Bernard Shaw

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

Tarry a moment to watch the chaos of a playground, crayola-colored shirts of running children, all trying out their wings. - Dr. SunWolf

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves. - Anna Quindlen

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming. - John Wooden

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller

Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There's no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving. - Gail Tsukiyama


Ruined Bacon

Kellogg's Fire

Tip Discount

Staff Meeting

Prince Bag

Ice Cream Clouds

Sun Dial Fail

Rolling Stop

Ghetto Hammock

Cooking For Guys

Walkies

Ultimate Border Control Protection

Note Flasher

Lineup For Dinner

Do Nothing Day

Horn Blower

Breathe in the Ocean

Skywalking

Low Ceiling Workout

Maxi Boot Sorbet

OCD Highschool

Kona Lisa

Fire Distinguisher

An Apple A Day