Change Of The Guard - Summer in London

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

Rain is the one thing the British do better than anybody else. - Marilyn French

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro