#1 humor site on the 'net

Car Stool

Sit down before you hear the high cost of this car!

Car Stool thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

How you get it off the lot is your problem...

QuotaBills
Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. - W S Gilbert

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. - Unknown

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown


Click Click Imaging Specialists

Awkward

Soldier Salute

You Turn

Australia 101 For Tourists

Horse Wood Sculpture

Changing Priorities Ahead

Fishing With Moses

Expired Marriage

Goose Walkers

Minion HotHead

Christopher Walken

Greek Financial Path

Miss Afghanistan Finalists

Fawn Of You

Swimming in the Dead Sea

Redneck Beer Stacker

Hot Summer Days

mIndians

Mouthful Of Information

Happy Face Sandwich

Senior Eye Exam

Chubby Free

Pirrows