#1 humor site on the 'net

Bear Surveillance

Bear-bones office security bearly gives you time to react

Bear Surveillance thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Human kind cannot bear very much reality. - T S Eliot

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. - Ursula K. Le Guin

He who cannot bear misfortune is truly unfortunate. - Greek Proverb

Things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

A camera, by arresting motion, gives permanence to the impermanent. - Freeman Patterson

Nothing happens to anybody which he is not fitted by nature to bear. - Marcus Aurelius

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Endurance is not only to bear the hard thing but to turn it into glory. - Win Barclay

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

He who has a "why" to live, can bear with almost any "how". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Forgive, forget. Bear with the faults of others as you would have them bear with yours. - Phillips Brooks

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. - Unknown

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those that never happen. - James Russel Lowell

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

I don't have an alarm clock. If someone needs to wake me up, then I have my BlackBerry next to me. - Mark Zuckerberg

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently. - Palladas

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. - Henry David Thoreau

I adore art. When I am alone with my notes, my heart pounds and the tears stream from my eyes, and my emotion and my joys are too much to bear. - Guiseppe Verdi


Three Cats Ago

That's Not A Knife

Someone Is Upset

Turkey Popcorn Dressing

Redneck Outhouse Throne

I'll Be Right There

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Young Superman

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Bustache

CheckMate

Plane Oops!

Sand Dive

Manitoba Home Security System

WinDoor

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Mirror Solution

Beerbulance

Handicap Motorcyclist

Filling Up Is OverRated

Coin Stacking

I Miss Being A Tree

Stoned In The Garden

Looking For Something?