Baby Delivery

Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unclaimed Baby Sheep: No man's lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Titillate: A tardy meal for a breast-fed baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages. - Benjamin Franklin

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. - George Carlin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell