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Baby Delivery

When the stork becomes outdated

Baby Delivery thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. - Bill Murray

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. - George Carlin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

It's been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it's trying to blackmail me. - Gary Delaney

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds


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