#1 humor site on the 'net

All Weather Runner

Hypothermia 101 for the dubm-erererest

All Weather Runner thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Hockey is the original extreme sport. - Tom Ward

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

What good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness? - John Steinbeck

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. - Joan Rivers

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

We are in the extreme centre, the radical middle. That is our position. - Pierre Trudeau

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. - John Steinbeck

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci


Redneck Muffler Repair

Drama Queen Diary

He Looks Just Like His Father!

Happy Snow Car

Sand Strap Experience

Redneck Calf Feeder

BaCoN T-Shirt

Go Winterized

Car Igloo

Hen Pecked

It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check

Wurst-Case Scenario

High-Rise Inifinity Pool

Winter Kayaking

Balanced Family Life

Closed Ahead

Forgettable Fishing Trips

I've Got Your Back

Dr Pepper Financing

Wine Therapy