#1 humor site on the 'net

All Weather Runner

Hypothermia 101 for the dubm-erererest

All Weather Runner thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Extreme hopes are born from extreme misery. - Bertrand Russell

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning? - Henny Youngman

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Only in peace do we have joy. Not by acquiring things, not by doing things, not by earning or learning, but by dedication. - Swami Satchidananda

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

Aarfy was a dedicated fraternity man who loved cheerleading and class reunions and did not have brains enough to be afraid... - Joseph Heller

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky


Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic

In Touch Today

Delicious Grief

Amplified Beer

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally

Scooter Hearse

Thailand Ferry

Hard Hat Safety

Water Coolant

Spray-On Clothing

Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce