#1 humor site on the 'net

African Ambulance

Why hospital patients in Africa really do need to be patient

African Ambulance thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Africa's 2-tier medical system

QuotaBills
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa. - Groucho Marx

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Theresa


Take The Bus Home

Bent Car Sculpture

International Truck Bed

Strong Man

Snowbound Train

Not Without A Washer

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Washing Machine Cat

Ruined Bacon

Kellogg's Fire

Tip Discount

Staff Meeting

Prince Bag

Ice Cream Clouds

Sun Dial Fail

Rolling Stop

Ghetto Hammock

Cooking For Guys

Walkies

Ultimate Border Control Protection

Note Flasher

Lineup For Dinner

Do Nothing Day

Horn Blower