A Dog's Worst Nightmare

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

I am prepared for the worst, but hope for the best. - Benjamin Disraeli

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst. - Tom Stoppard

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

Teamwork makes the dream work, but a vision becomes a nightmare when the leader has a big dream and a bad team. - John C Maxwell

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash