World Cup Elephant

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy