World Cup Elephant

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

Academy: A modern school where football is taught - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

Football Season: The time of the year when girls whistle at men in sweaters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Gamekeeper: A soccer goalie who doesn't get upset, despite losing heavily - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy