Women's Outhouse

Trade Secrets: What women do - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Women would rather be right than reasonable. - Ogden Nash

When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. - Unknown

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. - Stanley Baldwin

That woman temptated me up there and you know she was a wonton woman. - Archie Bunker

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong. - Unknown

Beauty Parlor: 1. A place where women curl up and dye; 2. A place where everybody knows your MANE. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Conscientious Woman: One who never breaks a confidence without first imposing the strictest secrecy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force. - Dorothy L Sayers

All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

If a woman says, 'Do what you want', do not do what you want. Stand still. Do not blink. Don't even breathe. Just play dead. - Unknown

When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren