Women's Outhouse

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

Women would rather be right than reasonable. - Ogden Nash

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

When the devil finds a lazy woman, he puts her to work. - Russian Proverb

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. - George Burns

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women. - Queen Christina of Sweden

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you. - Mae West

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. - Anais Nin

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner