Women's Outhouse

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. - Edgar W Howe

Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal. - Steve Rubenstein

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

A great city is that which has the greatest men and women. - Walt Whitman

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. - Mark Twain

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. - Don Herold

When I passed 40 I dropped pretence, 'cause men like women who got some sense. - Maya Angelou

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. - Anais Nin

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. - Alain

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle