Women's Outhouse

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray

Successful Woman: One who finds such a man - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. - Unknown

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

The best years of a woman's life - the ten years between 39 and 40. - Unknown

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you. - Mae West

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you. - Groucho Marx

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I believe in loyalty: I think when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick to it. - Eva Gabor

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. - Oscar Wilde

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

First women subtract from their age, then they divide it, and then they extract its square root. - Unknown

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A woman described me as a bit of a looker the other day. Well, 'voyeur' was the actual word she used. - Gary Delaney

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. - Oscar Wilde

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

Nothing prepared me for being this awesome. It's kind of a shock to wake up every morning and be bathed in this purple light. - Bill Murray

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson