#1 humor site on the 'net

Wedding Pound Cake

Need to lose a little weight before your wedding?

Wedding Pound Cake thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Because the sweeter the cake, the more bitter the jelly can be. - Lady Gaga

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


Negotiations Texas Style

Boom Bag

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Grampoline

Scarf Fashion

Not Alone

Goodbye Tattoo

Family Exercise

Bulge That All Women Love

Hand Drawn

Learn To Fly

Rosella Ring

Orthodox Weapon

Antler Car

Wicked Stawm

Dementia Relations

Church Karma

The End in Canada

Sign Slippage

Obedient Wives

Symptoms of Laziness

Hog Hunter

Sea Horse

Impossible Object