#1 humor site on the 'net

Wedding Pound Cake

Need to lose a little weight before your wedding?

Wedding Pound Cake thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette

Reform: To gain or lose weight - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe

The dieting wars have got to stop. - Lady Gaga

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight. - Tom Stoppard

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

I've probably tried every fad diet in the world. - Jenna Ushkowitz

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

I don't trust any diet that doesn't allow sugar. - Bethenny Frankel

Envy and greed starve on a healthy diet of thanksgiving. - Billy Graham

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction, especially apocalyptic and postapocalyptic fiction. - Justin Cronin

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala


1st Rolex

Tennis Plant

Florida Moves Out Of Hurricane Zone

Small Bills

Denmark Traffic Signals

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Game Car

Overloaded Mailbox

Redneck Phone

Enjoy Fresh Air

Bread Board

Snaccident

Mini Bar

Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert

Cadillac Clearance

Leading By Example

Wired For Coffee

Cadillac Bike

Chip and Dip

Cat Couch Nap