#1 humor site on the 'net

Swallow Swallow

Sometimes you're the Swallower and sometimes you're the Swallowee

Swallow Swallow thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - English Proverb

The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs. - Tanyas

Heavenly bodies are nests of invisible birds. - Dejan Stojanovic

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

Love is not only the story of butterflies or birds; it is also the story of jackals and hounds. - M.F. Moonzajer

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. - Henry Van Dyke

Success is full of promise till a man gets it; and then it is a last year's nest from which the birds have flown. - Henry Ward Beecher

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. - Robert Lynd

Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


How To Build A Fence

Horse-Back Riding

Social Distancing Fine

Burnout Indication

Lost Luggage

A Balanced Diet

Bowen Arrow

Business School Basics

Broken Potted Plant Art

Fish Hat

Fairy Soap

Floor Legs

Microscopic Reader

Brief Case

Hairstyle Of The Year

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Swan Heels

Windshield Defrogger

Side-Ways

Sonic Straw

Man At Work

Uncorked Wine

Double Handicap

Tetris Construction