Soon-To-Be Ex-Wife

Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

Writing laws is easy, but governing is difficult. - Leo Tolstoy

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. - Tacitus

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

How many lawyer jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. - Thomas F Shubnell

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

Layers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. - Jeremy Bentham

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? - Blanche Knott

Lawyers are like scissors; they never cut each other, but what is between them. - Unknown

I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit and once when I won one. - Voltaire

Lawyers are operators of toll bridges which anyone in search of justice must pass. - Jane Bryant Quinn

Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. - David Mellor

Permit me to issue and control the money of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws. - Mayer A. Rothschild

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

The trouble with our laws these days is that the criminals know their rights better than their wrongs. - Unknown

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: time. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The judicial system is the most expensive machine ever invented for finding out what happened and what to do about it. - Irving R. Kaufman

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne