#1 humor site on the 'net

Shelf Ready Sleeper

Kindergarten Napster - anywhere will do!

Shelf Ready Sleeper thanks to Jutta Liesenfeld

QuotaBills
Rest is the sauce of labor. - Plutarch

What some invent the rest enlarge. - Jonathan Swift

Let us be free. The rest matters not! - Jose de San Martin

Snoring: 1. Sheet music; 2. Sound sleeping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One cannot rest except after steady practice. - George Ade

This is the first day of the rest of your life. - Unknown

I get tired of talking when I want to be silent. - Henry Rollins

The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team. - John Wooden

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? - George Carlin

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. - George Carlin

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Come unto me, all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. - George Burns

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration; the rest of us just get up and go to work. - Stephen King

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. - Robert Frost

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn. - Mahatma Gandhi

Never work just for money or power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

Thank you to all who posted kind birthday wishes. I'm touched. The rest of you will be un-friended tomorrow. - Unknown

A great many people, and more all the time, live their entire lives without ever once sleeping out under the stars. - Alan S. Kesselheim

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

It is good to be tired and wearied by the futile search after the true good, that we may stretch out our arms to the Redeemer. - Blaise Pascal

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

When you wake up in the morning, you have two choices: go back to sleep and dream your dreams, or wake up and chase those dreams. - Unknown

Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects. - Herodotus

Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing. - William Arthur Ward

No theory is good unless it permits, not rest, but the greatest work. No theory is good except on condition that one use it to go on beyond. - Andre Gide

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity. - Russell Baker

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

You learn you can do your best even when it's hard, even when you're tired and maybe hurting a little bit. It feels good to show some courage. - Joe Namath

How blessed are some people, whose lives have no fears, no dreads; to whom sleep is a blessing that comes nightly, and brings nothing but sweet dreams. - Bram Stoker

The most dangerous thing in the world is to make a friend of an Englishman, because he'll come sleep in your closet rather than spend ten shillings on a hotel. - Truman Capote

Even if she be not harmed, her heart may fail her in so much and so many horrors; and hereafter she may suffer - both in waking, from her nerves, and in sleep, from her dreams. - Bram Stoker

Some fearful sights there be that creep
By night - I mean that harass sleep;
But tenfold more alarming seem these when
They brave the day, to breathe the air like men. - William Batchelder Greene

Surfing soothes me, it's always been a kind of Zen experience for me. The ocean is so magnificent, peaceful, and awesome. The rest of the world disappears for me when I'm on a wave. - Paul Walker


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi

Fuse ReplaceMeant

Student Food Strainer

IBITE

Slide-n-Freeze

Lizard Guitar

Electricity Storage

How To Sharpen Pencils

Chevforodge

Free Stuff

Baby Bird Chorus

Hang On

Home Depot Delivery

Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins

Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital

Not Stuck

Motorcycle For Sale

Dog Cross