#1 humor site on the 'net

Santa's Toy

Santa's alternative reindeer sleigh in warm countries

Santa's Toy thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Midnight bugs taste best. - Unknown

Where does he get those wonderful toys? - Jack Nicholson

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

When you're riding lead, don't spit. - Unknown

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

If you ride like there's no tomorrow, there won't be. - Unknown

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. - Unknown

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 150. - Unknown

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

I'm paranoid about everything. On my stationary bike I have a rearview mirror. - Richard Lewis

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Unbreakable Toy: 1. An object that is indestructible - until a child plays with it; 2. Useful for breaking other toys. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Toy Soldiers was my introduction to film. I certainly didn't think I was doing art by any stretch of the imagination. - Tim Robbins

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple


Snowmobile Races - Get There Early

Pocket Change

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing

Harrison Ford

Plenty of Room for God's Creatures

Aussie Selfie

Pyramid Kiss