Santa's Toy

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Midnight bugs taste best. - Unknown

The brain is an educational toy. - Tom Robbins

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

When you're riding lead, don't spit. - Unknown

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Harlez Vous Francais?: Can you drive a French motorcycle? - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park his bike. - Spiro T. Agnew

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. - Unknown

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. - Unknown

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 150. - Unknown

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

I'm paranoid about everything. On my stationary bike I have a rearview mirror. - Richard Lewis

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

You're the guy that'll be sneaking out of your bedroom at three o'clock in the morning to look at your bike. - Paul Teutul

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Grandparent: 1. One who knows that spanking is unnecessary; 2. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple