Santa's Toy

It's only a toy. - Gardiner Greene Hubbard

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Midnight bugs taste best. - Unknown

Where does he get those wonderful toys? - Jack Nicholson

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

When you're riding lead, don't spit. - Unknown

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. - Unknown

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

That's all the motorcycle is, a system of concepts worked out in steel. - Robert M. Pirsig

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 150. - Unknown

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

I'm paranoid about everything. On my stationary bike I have a rearview mirror. - Richard Lewis

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

No matter how big and bad you are, when a 2-year-old hand you a toy phone, you answer it. - Unknown

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz