Santa's Toy

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Midnight bugs taste best. - Unknown

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

When you're riding lead, don't spit. - Unknown

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. - Unknown

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park his bike. - Spiro T. Agnew

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. - Unknown

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

That's all the motorcycle is, a system of concepts worked out in steel. - Robert M. Pirsig

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 150. - Unknown

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. It's like riding a bike, you never forget. - Taraji P Henson

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

Toy Soldiers was my introduction to film. I certainly didn't think I was doing art by any stretch of the imagination. - Tim Robbins

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Grandparent: 1. One who knows that spanking is unnecessary; 2. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz