Santa's Email
Santa calls on many hands to answer his fan e-mail
QuotaBillsComputer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking
Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson
Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole
Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown
Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis
I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd
People will believe anything they read on the internet. - Abraham Lincoln
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell
The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich
The internet turns 30 minutes of homework into 2 hours of homework. - Unknown
The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin
Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown
If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown
Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte
You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs
Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader
The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. - Andrew Brown
I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy
The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor
Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett
Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick
Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell
My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette
Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
The majority of people who don't have Internet don't have the Internet because they don't know why they want to use the Internet. - Mark Zuckerberg
For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber