Reserved for Drunk Drivers

Get drunk with love. - Debasish Mridha

Write drunk; edit sober. - Ernest Hemingway

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Greyhound Trainer: A race cur driver - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

But I'm not so think as you drunk I am. - J.C. Squire

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

Destiny is a Paris driver pushing a taxicab with my name on it. - Frank Dane

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck. - Jim Denny

A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light. - Henry Morgan

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. - Jimmy Fallon

I was never afraid of anything because I never hurt anyone. I was always an old drunk. - Chavela Vargas

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor