Reserved for Drunk Drivers

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Bad Driver: The person you run into. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Belonging has always been a fundamental driver of humankind. - Brian Chesky

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. - Tommy Bolt

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

The best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk. - Alben W Barkley

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana. - Lana Turner

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Drunkard: 1. A man who knows his capacity but gets drunk before he reaches it; 2. Human prune - the more he is soaked, the more he swells. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor