Reindeer Strike

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. - Charles Barkley

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna have a heart attack. - Edward Norton

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth

The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before. - G K Chesterton

There is a light at the end of the tunnel... hopefully its not a freight train! - Mariah Carey

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing. - Lewis Grizzard

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

At night they all come out of the subway and they're hooverin' around the corner. - Archie Bunker

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. - Oscar Wilde

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. - Warren Buffett

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenements halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. - Paul Simon

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

If a train is coming at you, closing your eyes won't save you... but if you look right at it, you at least have a chance to jump. - Andrew Vachss

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom