Redneck Wedding Cake

Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Ultimate: The last person you marry - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst