Redneck Wedding Cake

Life is too short to skip cake. - Unknown

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes. - Unknown

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown

Because the sweeter the cake, the more bitter the jelly can be. - Lady Gaga

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Today couples live together until they learn to detest one another. Then they get married. - G K Chesterton

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward