#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Lottery Tour

What Bubba did when he won the lottery

Redneck Lottery Tour thanks to Irvin Kauffman

Redneck Lottery Tour thanks to Irvin Kauffman

QuotaBills
Fortune favors the bold. - Ennius

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Seek wealth, it's good. - Ivan Boesky

A great fortune is a great slavery. - Seneca

A rich man has no need of character. - Hebrew Proverb

Wars are caused by undefended wealth. - Ernest Hemingway

You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

I am rich beyond the dreams of avarice. - Edward Moore

Fortune is ever seen accompanying industry. - Oliver Goldsmith

No man is rich enough to buy back his past. - Oscar Wilde

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich. - Donald Trump

When the rich make war it's the poor that die. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Traffic Ticket: Finale of the policeman's bawl - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright

Ah, if the rich were rich as the poor fancy riches. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is. - Vince Lombardi

He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner. - Benjamin Franklin

If you take the risk, you are deserving of the reward. - Joe Segal

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? - Vince Lombardi

Riches don't make a man rich, they only make him busier. - Christopher Columbus

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards. - Oscar Wilde

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. - Lawrence J. Peter

Good fortune is what happens when opportunity meets with planning. - Thomas Edison

A man is never so on trial as in the moment of excessive good fortune. - Lew Wallace

Fortune, seeing that she could not make fools wise, has made them lucky. - Michel de Montaigne

It is better to risk saving a guilty man than to condemn an innocent one. - Voltaire

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. - James Thurber

The unassuming youth seeking instruction with humility gains good fortune. - Joseph Addison

It's harder for a poor man to be successful than it is for a rich man. - Gregory Nunn

Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Leo Buscaglia

Dude Ranch: Where a guy who is rich enough to drive a Cadillac rides a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Winning isn't everything, but it sure beats anything that comes in second. - Bear Bryant

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone. - Henry David Thoreau

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy. - Robert N Anthony

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. - Unknown

The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals, and three-run homers. - Unknown

When a man's stomach is full it makes no difference whether he is rich or poor. - Euripides

No matter how much fame and fortune you achieve, don't get wrapped up in yourself. - Dal Richards

Winning is coming in fourth, exhausted but excited because you came in fifth last time. - Denis Waltley

There is scarcely an instance of a man who has made a fortune by speculation and kept it. - Andrew Carnegie

Flight Risk: Employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. - P.J. O'Rourke

It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich. - Alan Alda

Yes, risk taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking. - Tim McMahon

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. - Thomas W. Higginson

I have been very happy, very rich, very beautiful, much adulated, very famous, and very unhappy. - Brigitte Bardot

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

A man is not wealthy simply by the contents of his pockets alone, but instead by the richness of his heart. - Robert M. Hensel

It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it. - Maurice Switzer

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. - Theodor Adorno

Things that aren't important, that have nothing to do with winning and losing, don't have to be a rule. - Peter Richmond

The power of fortune is confessed only by the miserable; for the happy impute all their success to prudence and merit. - Jonathan Swift

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

Of course God knew what would happen if they used their freedom the wrong way: apparently, He thought it worth the risk. - C S Lewis

Therefore if a man look sharply and attentively, he shall see Fortune; for though she be blind, yet she is not invisible. - Francis Bacon

The moderation of people in prosperity is the effect of a smooth and composed temper, owing to the calm of their good fortune. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

The only thing that I have done that is not mitigated by luck, diminished by good fortune, is that I persisted, and other people gave up. - Harrison Ford

Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It's huge and scary - it's an act of infinite optimism. - Gilda Radner

The high prize of life, the crowning fortune of a man, is to be born with a bias to some pursuit, which finds him in employment and happiness. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Redneck Combo Plumbing

Parking Squeeze

Tree Barking

Elephant Sunset

TP Safety

Locked Up Bull Elk

Duck Crossing

Peeping Snake

Hydro Water Power

Cutting Edge Delivery

Baby Scan

Redneck Mirror

Skateboard Statue

WipeOut

Turtle Truck

How To Burn Fat

Unplugged

Praying & Preying Mantis

Good Driver

Overpass Passover

Fire Starter

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

Auto Strap

Never Run a Red Light