Redneck House Cleaning

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

A house divided against itself cannot stand. - Abraham Lincoln

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb

Stucco: What a lot of house hunters are getting these days - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Give a landlord an inch and he'll build an apartment house. - American Proverb

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

At this late hour a wagon has been procured, and I have had it filled with plate and the most valuable portable articles, belonging to the house. - Dolly Madison