Redneck House Cleaning

In the ant's house, the dew is a flood. - Danish Proverb

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm. - Oscar Wilde

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. - Robin Williams

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion... I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. - Kurt Vonnegut

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon