Redneck House Cleaning

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

In the ant's house, the dew is a flood. - Danish Proverb

A house divided against itself cannot stand. - Abraham Lincoln

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

It is easier to demolish a house than to build one. - Irish proverb

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

It's a sad house where the hen crows louder than the cock. - Scottish Proverb

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm. - Oscar Wilde

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. - Plautus

You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal. - Zig Ziglar

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion... I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. - Kurt Vonnegut