QuotaBillsAn old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin
Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson
In the ant's house, the dew is a flood. - Danish Proverb
Operatics: Bugs that live in an opera house - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown
Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb
Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker
The words you speak become the house you live in. - Hafiz
I have put out my books and now my house has a soul. - Cicero
He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible
In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen
Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino
At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay
In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins
Census Taker: A man who goes from house to house increasing the population. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright
Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce
I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono
Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm. - Oscar Wilde
If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown
A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown
God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright
I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery
Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown
No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. - Plautus
You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal. - Zig Ziglar
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields
Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller
Window Screen: 1. A device to prevent the escape of insects; 2. A device for keeping flies in the house. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart
The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright
My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright
I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright
Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller
Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare