Redneck House Cleaning

Bird House: Home Tweet Home. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Theater: House of thrill repute - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

He's got that big house to maintain in San Clemency. - Archie Bunker

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Give a landlord an inch and he'll build an apartment house. - American Proverb

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal. - Zig Ziglar

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

Window Screen: 1. A device to prevent the escape of insects; 2. A device for keeping flies in the house. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion... I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. - Kurt Vonnegut