Redneck Birthday Present

Life is too short to skip cake. - Unknown

Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown

New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

Happy birthday to a sister who has the best sister in the world. - Unknown

Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King

You're going to the cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian. - Robin Williams

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same. - Audrey Hepburn

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield