#1 humor site on the 'net

Red Alert Flight

Last call for passengers of this plane

Red Alert Flight thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
Add not fire to fire. - Greek proverb

Genius is initiative on fire. - Holbrook Jackson

Blazer: A jacket that is on fire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. - Ursula K. Le Guin

We must rekindle the fire of idealism in our society. - Joe Biden

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

Love is friendship set on fire. Hate is friendship burned. - Jeremy Taylor

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses. - Edith Sodergran

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled. - Plutarch

She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire. - Charles Bukowski

Managers light a fire under people; leaders light a fire in people. - Kathy Austin

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

Pajamas: Items of clothing that newlyweds place beside the bed in case of fire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No amount of facts in his head can compensate for the lack of fire on his lips. - Vance Havner

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. - Mae West

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

Flight Risk: Employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

Trials function like a fire that burns off every impurity impeding our progress towards holiness. - David Jeremiah

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

I don't have an alarm clock. If someone needs to wake me up, then I have my BlackBerry next to me. - Mark Zuckerberg

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

The fire of the diamond of true identity is always there; it just needs the Master's crafting to reveal it. - Kenneth G Mills

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

To have a curable illness and to leave it untreated except for prayer is like sticking your hand in a fire and asking God to remove the flame. - Sandra L. Douglas

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

Well, yes, I've fired a lot of people. Generally I like other people to fire, because it's always a lousy task. But I have fired many people. - Donald Trump


SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Aisle Cleanup

His Dent

Car Surgeon

Slamming On Your Brakes

Need A Cigarette?

CardboardZilla

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts

Water Taxi

Acapulco Waterfront Property

Just Blew It

Wouldn't want to scratch that fancy bed liner

Lunch Break

Digging One's Own Grave

See The Difference?

Gas and Dash

OctoMask

Bird on a Wire (past tense)

Workplace Hazards in Tasmania

Tiger On A Roll

Men's Golf Rules

Where Did He Go?

Sudden Invented Syndrome

Calculus Drinks