#1 humor site on the 'net

One Horsepower Car

World-First 1 horsepower, carrot-dangling car

One Horsepower Car thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

Horsepower was a wonderful thing when only horses had it. - Unknown

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service

Beach Breakfast

Bicycle Dining

Shark Bike

Thrilling Read

Extra Weight

Yoga's Balanced Lifestyle

Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Souped Up Car

Darth VadeHer

Submergible

Happy People

Today's Paper Read Yesterday

Someone Is Upset

Texas Diet

Moose Crossing

Lost Meal

Plane Oops!

The Wheels of Life

Nerd Shaving

Beethoven's Teacher

Coke's Special Ingredients

Weather Warning

Freedom At Last