#1 humor site on the 'net

'Not On My Shift' Dog

Picket Carrying member of the World's 1st Dog Union

'Not On My Shift' Dog thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men. - Abraham Lincoln

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray


Motorcycle Grind

Handicap Porch

Tip Generator

Waiting For Windows To Boot

So Close

Pork Chops

Brazilian Covid

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Nothing Wrong Picture

Cook Ring

Zipperhead

Politicians Be Like

Bridge Uplift

Beach Drag

Do Not Feed The Bears

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

A Woman's Mind

Spaghetti Starter

Sidewalk Pickpocket

Wing Wedding

Relaxing Surgery

Fish Injuries

Nuclear Waste Truck

Rock Watcher