#1 humor site on the 'net

'Not On My Shift' Dog

Picket Carrying member of the World's 1st Dog Union

'Not On My Shift' Dog thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called

The Mighty Stegosaurus

Get A Dog They Said

Are You Ready?

Down Day

Peddle Sewing Machine Sink

You Never Call

Dawntastic

Work Rules

Navy Golf Course for Aircraft Carriers

Less Severe Inflation

Hotel Annex

King Stump

Diet Carbs

Home Made Limo

Cool Reading Room