#1 humor site on the 'net

New Wal-Mart Mirror

Weight Watchers: lose weight by watching

New Wal-Mart Mirror thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

QuotaBills
The best mirror is an old friend. - George Herbert

I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight. - Tom Stoppard

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

The art of a people is a true mirror to their minds. - Jawaharlal Nehru

I xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra xerox machine. - Steven Wright

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Look at life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. - Byrd Baggett

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. - Judy Collins

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

If the people you lead have lost their spark, try looking in the mirror. - Susan Fowler

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus. - Steven Wright

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

If you can't see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror. - Shane Koyczan

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

Life is a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you. - Wally Amos

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. - Edith Wharton

If you want to know who is going to change this country, go home and look in the mirror. - Maude Barlow

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

One day you look in the mirror and realize the face you are shaving is your father's. - Robert Harris

Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations. - Earl Nightingale

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'. - Unknown

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Pentecost Sunday

Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs

Organ Donor

Moldy Bible

Gyprock Prayer

Barn Art

Submarine Tea

NAACP Cover Up

Quad Shot

Princess Parking

Restaurant Wait-er

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Butterfly Lens

Pike Mouth Nest

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

Flower Lips

Bird Walker

Never Go Full Retard

Multi-Pilot Jet

Teethbrushes

Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you!

Picture Perfect

Same Mistake Twice

How To Build A Fence