New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Borscht: Beet soup with high blood pressure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin