New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Theresa

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler