Look Daddy - Baby Kittens!

As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. - Proverb

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself. - Abraham Lincoln

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Back-Up: Recommended if you meet a skunk in the woods - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

Well washed and combed domestic pets grow dull; they miss the stimulus of fleas. - Francis Galton

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah