#1 humor site on the 'net

Last Ice Fishing Trip

Looking for more 'weighs' to lose your pickup?

Last Ice Fishing Trip thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

We've got a name for sushi in Georgia... bait. - Blake Clark

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it. - Thomas Jefferson

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Moose Parking

Long Winter

Another Day In Traffic

How A Leader Leads

We Haul It All

Find Your Purpose

Something Witty

Frozen America

Woodcutter Birthday Cake

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

That's My Bed

Laxative Cream Pie

Crow Species

Japanese Eye Test

Donut Hole History

The Original Homeland Security

Bustache

I Will Never Tell

Vancouver Snow Plow

Costco Wheels

British Accountant

Find Your Car

First Selfie

Spider Trap