#1 humor site on the 'net

July 4th Balloon

Happy Independence Day to our American friends!

July 4th Balloon thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
There are no American infidels in Baghdad. - Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

America is a tune. It must be sung together. - Gerald Stanley Lee

God Bless America, written by Milton Berlin. - Archie Bunker

We shall not flag nor fail. We shall go on to the end. - Winston Churchill

I pledge myself to a New Deal for the American people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

The chief business of the American people is business. - Calvin Coolidge

American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense. - Ed Howe

United Nations: Where America feeds the hands that bite it. - Gregory Nunn

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

The American Way of life, si! The American Way of death, no! - Archie Bunker

The hyphen, that's the most un-American thing in the world. - Woodrow Wilson

Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up. - Bill Vaughn

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes

I found a country [America] with thirty-two religions and only one sauce. - Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perogord

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. - Adlai Stevenson

Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball. - Jacques Barzun

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

I do know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together. - Charles Dickens

America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense, human rights invented America. - Jimmy Carter

The spirit of America has nurtured responsibility and community unlike any other country. - Stephen Covey

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you. - Yakov Smirnoff

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

To be President of the United States, sir, is to act as advocate for a blind, venomous, and ungrateful client. - John Updike

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honoured by posterity because he was the last to discover America. - James Joyce

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Fischer, the great American chess champion, famously said, 'Chess is life.' I would say, 'Pi is life.' - Daniel Tammet

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. - Gore Vidal

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedom, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. - Abraham Lincoln

Does America really need to be the best at everything? You already dominate the world in economics, military power and obesity. - Trevor Noah

I have made the tough decisions, always with an eye toward the bottom line. Perhaps it's time America was run like a business. - Donald Trump

The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possible to achieve the American dream. - Tommy Hilfiger

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney


World's First Hard Hat

Cup on the Edge

British Gas Meter

Hot Summer Days

Senior Protesters

Microsoft Software Upgrade

Mow Your Lawn

Drinking Alone

being Fearless

Bible Bar

A Good Woman

Tunnel Face

Wheelchair Access

Dog Training for Dummies

Pineapple Slicer

Pole Safety

Singapore SkyPark

Nintendo Guitar

Road Detour

Jerushalom

Hot Seat

LippoPotumus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Senior's Golf Cart