How To Hire Engineers

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Always be smarter than the people who hire you. - Lena Horne

The only people without problems are in a cemetery. - Norman Vincent Peale

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. - Jim Rohn

Babysitters: Girls you hire to watch your television set. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

I am a great fan of science, but I cannot do a quadratic equation. - Terry Pratchett

Careful thinking and hard work will solve nearly all your problems. - Ullery

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem. - George Carlin

Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. - Confucius

My uncle is in trouble with his union. They caught him working on the job. - Joey Adams

It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer. - Albert Einstein

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form. - Stanley Randall

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges. - Jack Handy

Leadership does not mean getting people to do their job. It means getting people to do their best. - Unknown

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week. - Will Rogers

The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature, but plunges him more deeply into them. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Every person I work with knows something better than me. My job is to listen long enough to find it and use it. - Jack Nichols

I get the feeling that the two biggest problems in America today are making ends meet, and making meetings end. - Robert Orben

My job is not to make decisions but to set stretch objectives and help our managers work out how to reach them. - Sergio Marchionne

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

The Swedish engineer who invented the zip fastener made a greater intellectual leap than many scientists do in a lifetime. - Martin Rees

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

Risk and failure is a part of our equation, and if you are seeing too little failure, you are actually probably not taking enough risks. - Peter Barris

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

Sometimes life knocks you on your ass. Get up, get up, get up! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them. - Steve Maraboli

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

He had a sense of irony that ruled his life, made it impossible for him to use his considerable brains in any kind of serious job. Kind of like me. - Neal Stephenson