#1 humor site on the 'net

Hot Dog Cooker

How to keep your hot dog from wilting on a hot summer day

Hot Dog Cooker thanks to Diane Baugh

QuotaBills
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

I think about food literally all day every day. It's a thing. - Taylor Swift

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Raxe

Male Multitasker

Fork In The Road

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Goat Trick

Genuine Fake Watches

Onward, My Noble Steed!

Edible Pet Clothing

Texas Diet

Grass Room

Stoolbus

Barn Owl Beauty

Car Elas Sale

Bestist

Cement Truck Lane

Cane Swimmers

Bartender Spill

Angry Mathematician

Matching Receipt

Where Nobody Speeds

A Good Woman

Front Row Seats

Always Full Glass