He Looks Just Like His Father!

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

When in doubt, duck. - Malcolm Forbes

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Nothing is more despicable than a professional talker who uses his words as a quack uses his remedies. - Francois Fenelon

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung