He Looks Just Like His Father!

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung