Good Advice

Some leaders are born women. - Unknown

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

Ideal Wife: Any woman who has an ideal husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

The smiles of a pretty woman are the tears of the purse. - Italian Proverb

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

Youthful Figure: What you get when you ask a woman her age - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Organ Recital: A group of women discussing their operations - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

She's loaded with this, waddya call, women's intermission. - Archie Bunker

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel. - George Bernard Shaw

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

Bargain Sale: A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There would be no sense in saying you trusted Jesus if you would not take his advice. - C S Lewis

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. - Mae West

The most terrifying thing any woman can say to me is, 'Notice anything different?' - Mike Vanatta

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin