Good Advice

I was with book, as a woman is with child. - C S Lewis

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause. - Unknown

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Trust no friend without faults, and love a woman, but no angel. - Doris Lessing

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. - H L Mencken

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. - Charles Kettering

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. - Bob Hope

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Let praise be given equally to women as well as men who have been distinguished in virtue. - Plato

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

There's something about a woman with a loud mind that sits in silence, smiling, knowing she can crush you with the truth. - R G Moon

Here's good advice for practice: go into partnership with nature; she does more than half the work and asks none of the fee. - Martin H. Fischer

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan