Good Advice

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Successful Woman: One who finds such a man - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition. - Unknown

Advice is like mushrooms. The wrong kind can prove fatal. - Charles E McKenzie

Clever Woman: One who knows how to give a man her own way - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

The patient has the right to accept your advice or to ignore it. - Martin H. Fischer

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. - Stanley Baldwin

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women. - H L Mencken

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them. - Dorothy Parker

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. - Gail Parent

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on. - Oscar Wilde

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you. - Groucho Marx

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Flirt: 1. A girl who got the boy you wanted; 2. A woman who believes it's every man for herself. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

I'm always worried when a woman sees me naked for the first time. That she's just gonna scream and run out of the park. - Gary Delaney

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer