#1 humor site on the 'net

Good Advice

Do you have doubts about lending your car to a woman?

Good Advice thanks to Darwin McKee

QuotaBills
Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Trust no friend without faults, and love a woman, but no angel. - Doris Lessing

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman who lacks an eye. - Jean A Brillat-Savarin

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

Frump: A woman who looks her age and doesn't try to overlook it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My greatest regret is not knowing at 30 what I knew about women at 60. - Arthur Miller

Some quick advice for success in life: Don't be afraid, be amazing. - Cuthbert Soup

The best years of a woman's life - the ten years between 39 and 40. - Unknown

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't. - Simon Cowell

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

Let praise be given equally to women as well as men who have been distinguished in virtue. - Plato

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. - Warren Buffett

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

My advice to young wrestlers is that your surroundings really make a difference. You want to put yourself in good, positive surroundings. - Dan Gable

I believe there's an Almighty, and I believe the Almighty's great gift to each man and woman in this world is the desire to be free. - George W Bush

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Vuvuzela Hits

You Are Grounded

Crosswalk Climber

Happy ARRRRRRRHH!

City Beach Castle

Martini Shirt

Mal Nutrition

Stowaway Soccer Fan

Watch Out For Slugger

Canada Frigate

Shimmy Car-nage

Texas Cow Cleaner

DogWood

The Floater

How We Played Online Before The Internet

Sports Hernias

Redneck Power Windows

Star Wars Howl

Leaning Bookshelves

Sometimes Dads Are Wet For Work

Dad Sandwich

Months Apart

Swing Dad

Dadspiration