Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I preferred sewing to bossing little children. - Martha Jones

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

What you teach your children, you also teach their children. - Unknown

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us. - Stephen Colbert

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

Women should not have children after 35. Really? 35 children is enough. - Bill Murray

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture when you don't want them to. - Jamie Lee Curtis

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate. - Nancy Astor

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

Our society is walking through a maze of cultural land mines and the heaviest price is exacted as we send our children on ahead. - Ravi Zacharias

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Johnny Depp