Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children. - Walt Disney

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

Children should neither be seen nor heard from - ever again. - WC Fields

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Children see things very well sometimes - and idealists even better. - Lorraine Hansbury

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. - Unknown

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. - Doug Larson

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

If you're going to write a book on how to raise children, do it before you have them. - Bob McLaren

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. - Phyllis Diller

Fathers are like a lighthouse - when there is fog his children can always depend on seeing the light. - Unknown

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take ‘em. - Bernie Mac

We are the children of many sires, and every drop of blood in us in its turn ... betrays its ancestor. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler