Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

Never have children, only grandchildren. - Gore Vidal

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children. - Doris Day

What you teach your own children is what you really believe in. - Cathy Warner Weatherford

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us. - Stephen Colbert

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

Women should not have children after 35. Really? 35 children is enough. - Bill Murray

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. - Ann Landers

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate. - Nancy Astor

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

We've got to work to save our children and do it with full respect for the fact that if we do not, no one else is going to do it. - Dorothy Height

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. - Ann Landers

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There's no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving. - Gail Tsukiyama