#1 humor site on the 'net

Future Therapy

I just love Halloween. After all, it's for the kids.

Future Therapy thanks to Rick Bohnenkamp

QuotaBills
Ghost Writer: Spooksman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Ghost: A shadow of its former self - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

The only way you can become a legend is in your coffin. - Bette Davis

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

Misers part with nothing until they die. Then they give up the ghost. - Latin Proverb

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves. - Laurie H. Anderson

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts. - Sally Field

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor


Starbucks Goes Extra Mile

Braided Mohawk

Just One More Glass

His First Hot Rod

Saskatchewan Roads

Pool Is Closed

Upended Water Buffalo

Do Not Touch Sign

Cold Beer

Grandma Safety

Partial Flight

Scenic View

Racewagon

Water Skier A-Head Of His Time

Owlympics Ice Skating

Shining Armor Knight

Smile For The Day

British Hairways

Cross Inspector

Morning Saving Time

Kangaroo On Ice

Life's Choices

Olympic Torch Bearers

Lethal Weapon