#1 humor site on the 'net

Free Trip To Heaven

Details on how to win a free trip to Heaven

Free Trip To Heaven thanks to Jutta Liesenfeld

QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

A star on earth - a star in heaven. - Karen Carpenter

Joy is the serious business of Heaven. - C S Lewis

Noble discontent is the path to heaven. - Thomas Higginson

Every man must get to heaven his own way. - Frederick the Great

Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Seek not outside yourself, heaven is within. - Mary Lou Cook

Heaven never helps the man who will not act. - Sophocles

Heaven grant us patience with a man in love. - Rudyard Kipling

Heaven without good society cannot be heaven. - Thomas Fuller

Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven. - John Milton

You go to heaven. God sneezes. What do you say? - Peter Houppermans

The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth - Lao-tzu

Heaven doesn't ignore cries of a broken heart. - Toba Beta

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. - Joe Louis

Parting is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell. - Emily Dickinson

Every man is as Heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse. - Miguel de Cervantes

Thank heaven for little girls, for little girls get bigger every day. - Allen Jay Lerner

A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for? - Robert Browning

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood

Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, but to be young was very heaven! - William Wordsworth

If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there. - Martin Luther

They can keep their heaven. When I die, I'd sooner go to Middle Earth. - George R.R. Martin

Computers are heaven-sent when they work and hell-spawn when they don't. - Dani Harper

The moment we take our last breath on earth, we take our first breath in heaven. - Billy Graham

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. - C S Lewis

The mind is its own place, and it itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. - John Milton

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground. - G K Chesterton

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

Virtue in obscurity is rewarded only in Heaven. To succeed in this world you have to be known to people. - Sonia Sotomayor

Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it, and Hell where they already have it. - Ronald Reagan

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. - Helen Keller

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. - Will Rogers

The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ came to do three things. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven - Rick Warren

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven. - George Herbert


Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper