#1 humor site on the 'net

Free Trip To Heaven

Details on how to win a free trip to Heaven

Free Trip To Heaven thanks to Jutta Liesenfeld

QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

A star on earth - a star in heaven. - Karen Carpenter

Noble discontent is the path to heaven. - Thomas Higginson

Every man must get to heaven his own way. - Frederick the Great

Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven. - Karen Sunde

In heaven an angel is nobody in particular. - George Bernard Shaw

Remorse: beholding heaven and feeling hell. - George Moore

Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven. - John Milton

You go to heaven. God sneezes. What do you say? - Peter Houppermans

The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth - Lao-tzu

Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere. - Helen Gurley Brown

In heaven all the interesting people are missing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Heaven doesn't ignore cries of a broken heart. - Toba Beta

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. - Henry David Thoreau

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. - Joe Louis

Love is something sent from heaven to worry the hell out of you. - Dolly Parton

Every man is as Heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse. - Miguel de Cervantes

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

O all you host of heaven! O earth! What else? And shall I couple Hell? - William Shakespeare

A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for? - Robert Browning

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there. - Martin Luther

They can keep their heaven. When I die, I'd sooner go to Middle Earth. - George R.R. Martin

Computers are heaven-sent when they work and hell-spawn when they don't. - Dani Harper

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. - Mark Twain

Music, the greatest good that mortals know and all of heaven we have hear below. - Joseph Addison

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. - C S Lewis

The mind is its own place, and it itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. - John Milton

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

Surfing is the most blissful experience you can have on this planet, a taste of heaven. - John McCarthy

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground. - G K Chesterton

Virtue in obscurity is rewarded only in Heaven. To succeed in this world you have to be known to people. - Sonia Sotomayor

But there is one thing better than going to Heaven and that is to encourage at least one other person to go with me. - Nick Vujicic

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a nice plump missionary. - Oscar Wilde

Earn all you can,
Spend all you can,
Save all you can,
But for heaven's sake,
Give all you can. - John Wesley

Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven. - George Herbert


Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine