Computer For Women

What do women want? - Sigmund Freud

The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb

I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause. - Unknown

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

Birthquake: A woman's contractions during labor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

Women would not be prostitutes if it were not for men. - Baroness Vickers

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

I hate women because they always know where things are. - Voltaire

Chaos: Three women discussing the two sides of an issue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

The smiles of a pretty woman are the tears of the purse. - Italian Proverb

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract. - Kathy Lette

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

It is much easier to take care of a sackful of fleas than a woman. - German Proverb

Harem: A community of women who subscribe to a circulating husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Market: 1. Three women and a goose; 2. What teachers do to homework. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chance Remark: Anything a man chances to say when two women are talking - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

An ugly woman is a disease of the stomach; a handsome woman a disease of the head. - Italian Proverb

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

The most terrifying thing any woman can say to me is, 'Notice anything different?' - Mike Vanatta

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. - Oscar Wilde

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her. - C S Lewis

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

Sewing Circle: 1. Where friendship hangs by a thread; 2. A group of women who needle each other. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

Beauty Parlor: 1. A place where women curl up and dye; 2. A place where everybody knows your MANE. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

Conscientious Woman: One who never breaks a confidence without first imposing the strictest secrecy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression. - C S Lewis

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

The whole trend and quality of anyone's life is determined in the long run by the choices that are made. - Norman Vincent Peale

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson