Computer For Women

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Successful Woman: One who finds such a man - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess. - Edna Woolman Chase

Never argue with a woman, a winner, or a weapon. - Frank Dane

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

Jade: A semi-precious stone or a semi-precious woman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

I hate women because they always know where things are. - Voltaire

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

Masseuse: A woman who doesn't keep her hands to herself - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Sometimes I consider myself as a feminist, whatever that means. - Sarah Palin

Trust no friend without faults, and love a woman, but no angel. - Doris Lessing

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

My greatest regret is not knowing at 30 what I knew about women at 60. - Arthur Miller

The best years of a woman's life - the ten years between 39 and 40. - Unknown

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves together. - Thomas Carlyle

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. - Don Herold

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. - Stuart Turner

Glamour: The capacity of a woman to get more out of a dress than she puts into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

Sewing Circle: 1. Where friendship hangs by a thread; 2. A group of women who needle each other. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

Beauty Parlor: 1. A place where women curl up and dye; 2. A place where everybody knows your MANE. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. - Oscar Wilde

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays