#1 humor site on the 'net

Close Call Parking

It's not always what you drive, but where you park

Close Call Parking thanks to Darwin McKee

QuotaBills
A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Time spent amongst trees is never wasted time. - Katrina Mayer

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Khalil Gibran

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees. - Henry David Thoreau

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. - Will Rogers

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they're watching me. - Haruki Murakami

Everything's challenging for me, singing-wise. I'm like an old truck with one gear left on it. - Michael McDonald

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He that climbs the tall tree has won the right to the fruit; he that leaps the wide gulf should prevail in his suit. - Walter Scott

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Love is like the wild-rose briar, friendship like the holly-tree. The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms, but which will bloom most constantly? - Emily Bronte


High Heel Diver

Rising To The Occasion

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club

I See You

Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast

Motorcycle Campers

Canadian Banknotes - Extreme Makeover For Toonie