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Church Sign Humour

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Church Sign Humour thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

QuotaBills
Men plan and God laughs. - Yiddish Proverb

Man thinks and God laughs. - Yiddish Proverb

Hell is separation from God. - Billy Graham

The best way to get praise is to die. - Italian Proverb

God made man because he loves stories. - Elie Wiesel

Trust in God - but tie your camel tight. - Persian Proverb

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God. - Thomas Jefferson

If God is dead then everything is justifiable. - Fyodor Dostoevsky

God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants. - Jonathan Winters

God is not interested in your art but, your heart. - Ifeanyi E. Onuoha

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. - W Somerset Maugham

I drank the silence of God from a spring in the woods. - Georg Trakl

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein

God is at home, it's we who have gone out for a walk. - Meister Eckhart

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him. - Voltaire

Today's church wants to be raptured from responsibility. - Leonard Ravenhill

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. - Voltaire

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. - Luke 18:27

God gave us our memories so that we might have roses in December. - James M Barrie

In an urban environment, a church building is a thing of the past. - Mark Batterson

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon. - Mark Twain

What praise is more valuable than the praise of an intelligent servant? - Jane Austen

But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things. - Vincent Van Gogh

Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society. - William M Thackeray

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God. - Brennan Manning

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. - Mark Twain

A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it is to be God. - Sidney Sheldon

Faith is much better than belief. Belief is when someone else does the thinking. - R Buckminster Fuller

The grass withers, the flower fades
But the word of our God stands forever. - Isaiah 40:8

Let evil swiftly befall those who have wrongly condemned us - God will avenge us. - Jacques de Molay

He drained the cup of God's wrath bone dry, leaving not a drop for us to drink. - Richard A Bodey

There's a difference between an intellectual faith and a personal, heart faith. - Billy Graham

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

Sometimes I think it is my mission to bring faith to the faithless, and doubt to the faithful. - Paul Tillich

I know no manner of speaking so offensive as that of giving praise, and closing it with an exception. - Richard Steele

The majesty of faith is that it teaches us to see what exists, not merely what catches our attention. - Jonathan Sacks

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty. - Zig Ziglar

Pursuing a God-ordained passion, no matter how crazy it seems, is the most responsible thing you can do. - Mark Batterson

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

When you are arguing against God you are arguing against the very power that makes you able to argue at all. - C S Lewis

Hymn: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Where is Hollywood located? Chiefly between the ears. In that part of the American brain lately vacated by God. - Erica Jong

The character of our praying will determine the character of our preaching. Light praying makes light preaching. - E.M. Bounds

Prayer is not about letting God know your will; it's about completely submitting to him. You die to yourself. - Mark Batterson

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

If I were God and I were trying to create a nation that would get up the nostrils of the Englishman, I would create the French. - Julian Barnes

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Some preachers think only of their sermon; others think only of themselves: the man who wins the soul is the man who aims at it. - Dean Hook

A problem occurs when people want the benefits of a relationship with God without the responsibilities of a relationship with God. - Jim Herring

God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16

All who call on God in true faith, earnestly from the heart, will certainly be heard, and will receive what they have asked and desired. - Martin Luther

God has infinite attention to spare for each one of us. You are as much alone with him as if you were the only being he had ever created. - C S Lewis

The test of a preacher is that his congregation goes away saying, not, 'What a lovely sermon!' but, 'I will do something!' - Billy Graham

Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation. - Unknown

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr

The only faith that wears well and holds its color in all weathers is that which is woven of conviction and set with the sharp mordant of experience. - James R Lowell


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