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Car Surgeon

Has your Doctor diagnosed your timing belt?

Car Surgeon thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Timing is everything

QuotaBills
Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus

Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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