Car Surgeon

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus

Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Asphyxiation: What a surgeon does about an asphalt - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things. - Gilbert Gottfried

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease. - William Osler

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz