#1 humor site on the 'net

Can Never Have Too Many Tools

Tim the Tool Man's SUV

Can Never Have Too Many Tools thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
Buzz Saw: A honey of a tool. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men have become the tools of their tools. - Henry David Thoreau

Honeycomb: Hair styling tool used by bees - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Social media are tools. Real time is a mindset. - David M. Scott

The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool. - Stephen King

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Music is the tool to express life - and all that makes a difference. - Herbie Hancock

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things. - Henry Ward Beecher

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

A sharp tongue is the only edge tool that grows keener with constant use. - Washington Irving

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. - Abraham Maslow

The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity. - Zig Ziglar

I once worked as a salesman and was very independent. I tool orders from no one. - Gerald Barzan

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Communications tools don't get socially interesting until they get technologically boring. - Clay Shirky

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

I'm focusing on healing lives and teaching people that they can heal - giving them tools to heal. - Iyanla Vanzant

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Tar Arns: (Southern) A tool employed in changing wheels. Usage: 'You cain't change a tar without a tar arn' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Style used to be an interaction between the human soul and tools that were limiting. In the digital era, it will have to come from the soul alone. - Jaron Lanier

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Winter Sucks

Chainsaw Art

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Spot the Hidden Cell Tower

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Snow Is Coming

Spot The Clock

Gay Football

Icy Grip Of Winter

Find The Dogs

Fractal Pattern River

Canadian Whiskey

COLD Fairbanks

Snow Wall

Manitoba Kickstand

Puzzle Ad

Winter Driving in Canada

Coffee Morning

Slide-n-Freeze

Slip Sliding Away

Canadian Smart Car

Winter SOS

East Coast Winter Graffiti

Handstand Snowman