#1 humor site on the 'net

Bee Beard

With bees, when it gets hot it s'warm

Bee Beard thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

When a close shave might sting you

QuotaBills
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - George Carlin

Living is like licking honey off a thorn. - Unknown

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali

Life is a flower of which love is the honey. - Victor Hugo

Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat? - Dr Gonzo

It's not the years, honey. It's the mileage. - Indiana Jones

Don't point that beard at me – it might go off. - Groucho Marx

Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers. - Robert G Ingersoll

You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. - Unknown

If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive. - Dale Carnegie

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That's my motto. - Barbara Bretton

Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They jest can't buzz any slower. - Kin Hubbard

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Sweet words are like honey, a little may refresh, but too much gluts the stomach. - Anne Bradstreet

Even bees, the little almsmen of spring bowers, know there is richest juice in poison-flowers. - John Keats

Tart words make no friends: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. - Benjamin Franklin

How little you know about the age you live in if you think that honey is sweeter than cash in hand. - Ovid

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there! - Minnie Pearl

Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning, and the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey and a bowl of oranges, too. - Joni Mitchell

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


Senior's TV Tray

Potty 'Train'ing In India

A Woman Named Five Horses

Vegan Dentist

How To Conserve Gas

Rolling Shoes

How Twins Are Made

Cool Reading Room

Poor Lifetime

Be GarFul

Tooth Ferry

Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic

In Touch Today

Delicious Grief

Amplified Beer

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally

Scooter Hearse