#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby Illusion

I'm putting your best foot forward, Mom!

Baby Illusion thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Camouflage: Wise guise. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Unclaimed Baby Sheep: No man's lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Howling Success: The baby that gets picked up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Baby Boomer: A kid who just polished off six jars of raspberry jam - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden


Weight Watchers Bus

Owl Perch

Stuck On High Gear

Downhill Safari

First Drink And Drive Promo

Lottery Chances

Owl Pose

Magnetic Personality

Broken Window Repair

Zamboni Mohawk

Hand Tool

Lane Closure

Chainsaw-Powered 'Dolmette' Super-Motorcycle

Lego Wall Repair

High Tensile Snow

Newborn Canadian

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Drawn To Curiosity

Redneck Cook

Owl Friends

Economy Hit Hard

Baby Sidecar

Useless Fire Extinguishers

Diamond Ring TP