#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby Chat

As a baby, the Joe-kster couldn't control his online demand

Baby Chat thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

'Love At First Byte' for the Joe-kster

QuotaBills
Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney


Bent Over

Whatchamacallit Car

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi

Fuse ReplaceMeant

Student Food Strainer

IBITE

Slide-n-Freeze

Lizard Guitar

Electricity Storage

How To Sharpen Pencils

Chevforodge

Free Stuff

Baby Bird Chorus

Hang On

Home Depot Delivery

Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins

Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital

Not Stuck