Baby Brother For Christmas

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Am I my brother's keeper? - Genesis 4:9

Rattlesnake: our prostrate brother. - Ambrose Bierce

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. - Bible

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

I ain't had no brother for 29 years - nearly a quarter of a century. - Archie Bunker

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

That's what Abel was saying when he got it in the back from his own brother with a cane. - Archie Bunker

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

Even crushed against his brother in the Tube, the average Englishman pretends desperately that he is alone. - Germaine Greer

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Jawjuh: (Southern) A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik